Wednesday, September 26, 2012

InterGenerational Takes Effort And Intentionality

Dr Chuck Stecker

When was the last time you thought about the age range of your relationships? I am not referring to people who you see or come into contact with during your activities such as church or at your kid’s school.

Think about who you intentionally schedule on your calendar. Do not consider your children or co-workers you see only at work.

Think about the people you pursue and the ones who pursue you to have coffee or lunch.

Several years ago, I listened to Dr Gordon McDonald at Denver Seminary. At one point he was asked a very pointed question. The questioning individual asked Dr McDonald about the biggest difference in his life now compared to when he was much younger. Without hesitation, Dr McDonald responded that it was the men in his life.

The answer to the follow-up question was very significant. He was asked, “How did you find those men?” He responded, “Just like I got my wife, Gail. I dated them.”

Dr.  McDonald went on to explain that when he realized the void in his life, he first decided what type of men he needed. Then he made a list of guys he already knew. Then he began to ask them to meet for coffee. No agenda except to see if they wanted to meet again.

Dr. Mc Donald was clear. Some guys were good men but they did not make “the cut.” Others he continued to meet with and in time he found that he had an amazing group of men surrounding him.

Frankly, if you do not have others in your life, you are most likely not putting forth the effort. If you do not have younger and older people in your life, you are most likely not putting forth the effort.
If you do not have true friends and relationships beyond your age group, you should ask yourself:

  1. Am I actually available to others?
  2. Do I intentionally pursue others?
  3. Am I willing to invest in someone else?

We must make a decision to be intentional about the relationships in our lives. We are intentional about things that we value. If we truly value and desire relationships that go beyond our own age-range, we must be available and intentional.

©Charles W. Stecker, Jr, 2012

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Increased Capacity and Stronger Boundaries

Dr. Chuck Stecker

This was originally published over three years ago. At my current pace, I felt the need to revisit this for myself and thought there might be others out there needing a review as well.

 Several weeks ago I met with one of my close friends. Steve Spicer and I have been meeting for several years on a regular basis. He is one the many men who I feel that I always get more than I am able to give. Steve is one of my heroes.  He is balancing a full-time position in the work place and leading a vibrant and life changing ministry. You can check out his ministry Marked Men for Christ at

Our conversations are always intense. We have a tendency to put everything on the table and then wrestle for God’s best for each of us.

This was the core issue last time we met. Steve said that he wanted God to give him increased capacity. I also would ask for that. As we discussed the issue we also acknowledged that we were doing about what we could in the natural. To increase our pace and effectiveness without giving up other very important issues such as family and church, we needed God to move in the super-natural.

As we discussed the issue I realized that for me (and probably for Steve) we needed God to give us stronger boundaries for the increased capacity.

I thought of it in this manner. Certain containers are made of paper and they have the capacity to hold a certain weight without breaking. If that container were to be made of a stronger material such as cardboard it could hold much heavier amounts. It seemed to me that we have a capacity and we are asking God to let us hold more.

In that same line of thought, if our container were made of steel, we could really hold some weight without breaking or coming apart.

Steve and I agreed that we would pray for each other for increased capacity and for God to strengthen the container or give us stronger boundaries. There are times when it seems that we are asking God for more in volume but the issue is that God is waiting to give us more in density or weight.

Simply put….there are still just 24 hours in a day. Even though I often say and try to live like there are 30. I am not asking God to give me more hours. I want to be more effective with the hours I have been given.

So for me and Steve……Increased capacity must be accompanied by stronger boundaries.