Have you ever looked at something and thought, "That is just not right?" Sometimes events happen so fast and come so unexpected that we do not know how to react. When the moment has passed, we know in our hearts that what just happened was wrong but we feel trapped and unable to reverse the situation.
I clearly remember the Sunday that this next event took place. Our sons were in middle school/junior high; and as we walked into the church, Chad told me that the youth group had all decided to sit together and he and Courtney would meet us after church.
It happened so fast and they were both on the other side of the church with all their friends. I thought about this all week and did not correct the situation. I was not sure why I felt that I had just missed something. The following week the same thing happened with no announcement.
During the next week, I realized why I felt the way I did and I knew that I had to make a decision. During the week Billie and I sat the guys down and simply explained to them that Sunday was family and church time. I did men’s ministry and Billie did women's ministry, but we did not sit as a group on Sunday. Sunday is family time.
The immediate response from the guys was that there were some of the friends whose parents did not come to church and they would be alone. I thought for a moment and told our sons to bring their friends with them and they could also sit with us as a family. I would be their “daddy.”
Several years after this incident, I was in the process of writing Men of Honor Women of Virtue and my editor read a simple statement I wrote regarding how we fall into traps and accept abnormal for normal. She immediately responded and asked me to expand on the subject. In her words she stated that trading the absurd for normal was a significant problem.
It is important to understand that doing things many times does not really make them normal or right.
We have done so many crazy things in the church to divide everyone by age, gender or special need. We seem to have forgotten at times the difference between ministries of the church and church itself.
How many times must we repeat absurd things before we start seeing them as normal?
This is important to remember in our churches and families—absurd actions are still absurd actions no matter how many times we do them.
Continually separating our churches by age, gender and special needs is absurd. Just because we have done this for years, does not make it normal.
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