Are You Focused on Your Legend or His Legacy?

Dr. Chuck Stecker

Within moments after her birth in a Denver hospital on March 3, 1998, I held in my arms my first grandchild. To say that there was something supernatural about that moment would understate the reality. 

It’s been said that a child of your child is twice  your child, and now I understand why. In the weeks preceding and the days following the birth of Eliana Blair Cassel, God gave me incredible clarity about what’s important to pass on through the generations. I was particularly struck by Psalm 78:5–7:

"He decreed statutes for Jacob and established the law in Israel, which he commanded our forefathers to teach their children, so the next generation would know them, even the children yet to be born, and they in turn would tell their children. Then they would put their trust in God and would not forget his deeds but would keep his commands."

As I read those verses, it was as if neon lights began blinking and flashing, and bells and whistles went off. Everything in my being seemed to cry out, “This is what it means to leave a godly legacy!” I declared Psalm 78:5–7 to be my “legacy verses” that moment and determined I would teach about them whenever I had the opportunity.

Notice the number of generations mentioned here in just three verses. The process begins with the law given to Israel (Jacob) through Moses (generation one); Israel would teach their children (generation two), and those children would then teach the next generation—”the children yet to be born” (generation three), who would in turn teach their children (generation four).

Notice also that God spoke three things to be taught through the generations—to trust, remember, and obey the living God. I realized that as much as dads want to control the destiny of their children (I have jokingly said on many occasions that my grandchildren will live in Denver, and I don’t care where their parents live), I began to understand in that final verse exactly what comprises the legacy of Almighty God in our lives, our children’s lives, and our children’s children’s lives.

Now God has blessed Billie and I with four amazing grandchildren. After Ellie, now a high school freshman, came Hannah - followed by Makayla and our first grandson, Liam.

Sunday is Grandparents' Day of Prayer. In addition to praying for our four grandchildren, Billie and I will be praying for any other grandchildren God may entrust to us and for our grandchildren's children as well.

In other words, "Even children yet to be born." Now, that is worth praying for.

It is not too late to join Grandparents around the world praying for our grandchildren. Check out Grandparents' Day of Prayer

 (Excerpted from Men of Honor Women of Virtue, Seismic Publishing Group, 2010, p.179

Grandparents' Day of Prayer

Dr. Chuck Stecker

            It is a day unlike the other holidays designed to honor fathers, mothers veterans or some other part of our society. It is a day to rally Grandparents to pray for their grandchildren and, in reality, as grandparents to pray for grandkids across the nation and around the world.            
            
            Grandparents' Day of Prayer is being championed by our good friend Cavin Harper and the ChristianGrandparenting Network.

             This year the day is September 9^th.  Grandparents around the world are being called to prayed specifically for our grandchildren.

             "Christian Grandparenting Network is asking grandparents all over the world to unite in prayer for their grandchildren on Sunday, September 9, 2012. This date is the official United States National Grandparents Day designated by a Senate proclamation signed by President Jimmy Carter in 1978."

             That is a phenomenal idea. You do not have to be from a "blue state" or a "red state." It does not matter which church you attend or how you feel about the political issues being hammered by the political parties.

            It is very simple to sign up, and they are not going to bombard you with requests for donations or fill your "inbox" with more offers than we can imagine.

             One of the first things you will be offered, without charge is a list of Scriptures to pray for your grandchildren. In addition to the list of Scriptures, there is a simple Prayer guide that has no denominational leanings.

             Let's get onboard with this idea and fill the heavenly airwaves with prayers for our grandchildren.

 Who is joining us in praying for our grandchildren and grandchildren around the world?

Never Babysit Your Grandkids

Dr. Chuck Stecker



I am always amused when I hear a dad say that he is busy or cannot do something because he has to babysit his kids. Dads do not babysit their own kids. They are dads. They have the amazing privilege of being entrusted by God with His children. Dads do not babysit their own sons and daughters.

The same applies to Grandparents.  
Never, Never Never - Just babysit your grandkids.

When our first grandchild, Ellie, was born, I wasn't sure if I would be able to control myself. Amazing is one of the greatest understatements ever heard regarding grandchildren.

From the first moment, my wife and I were trusted to have our grandkids by ourselves, we knew our lives would never be the same again.

Grandparenting is a far too important assignment from God to be simply relegated to being an "hourly hired person."

From the beginning, we told our daughter to never ask us to babysit our own grandkids. If she needed (just) a babysitter, she could call one of the teenage girls whose number she kept on her refrigerator.

Every moment with Grandchildren must be viewed as an investment. Consider "The Parable of the Talents" in Mathew 25:14. In everything God entrusts to us, he expects us to invest. That parable is not limited to finances. The reality is that finances are perhaps the least of the issues. God expects us to invest in His people. God expects each of us to invest in our family.

As I write this blog, I am still buzzing. This past weekend, all our kids and grandkids were at our home and we had an incredible time together.

To clarify the original statement - Never Never Babysit your Grandkids - We want our grandkids with us as much as we possibly can have them. When they are with us, the job is far too important to be degraded and called babysitting. That is not going to happen.

September 9th is Grandparents' Day of Prayer. One of the best resources you can plug into is our good friend, Cavin Harper's grandparenting ministry. Check out his website at http://www.christiangrandparenting.net/day-of-prayer

Remember Never Never (JUST) Babysit Your Grandkids.

Integrity in Prayer

A few days ago, I posted the following on my Facebook/Twitter update:

“ ‘Rep. Gabrielle Giffords' condition has been upgraded from critical to serious, the University of Arizona Medical Center said Sunday.’ Does not matter your politics, people who actually pray, should be praying for Rep Giffords.”

Someone asked what I meant by the statement regarding “people who actually pray”? The answer for me was very simple. I do not think nearly as many people who say they will pray or who say that they are responding to prayer needs, actually pray.

Frankly, I feel that there is far too much on the social networks that begin with “Dear God” that is not intended to be a prayer or even honoring to God. Instead, it is closer to just slapping God in the face and in many cases might be much closer to blasphemy than prayer. When the post begins with “Dear God,” consider if the next words could be, “Hallowed be Thy Name.”

I think that for many people it has become one of those “in vogue” things to post updates that indicate that they are praying when in fact they are not.

It is my belief that this is having the effect of creating cultural Christians who talk about prayer but do not actually stop and pray. As a result are teaching our children and younger Christians that we can just talk about prayer but not really engage in the process.

I am wondering how many children hear their parents tell someone that they will pray but never see or hear their parents pray? My guess is far too many!!

One of the most powerful acts of faith that we have is prayer.

It can be very powerful for our children and grandchildren to be a part of the prayer we promised. It teaches them to pray and it also shows integrity in our word.

Here is my bottom line for parents: when you tell someone in the presence of your children that you will pray, include your children when you pray.

A Walk in History

For me, personally, there is no historical educational experience that is more powerful than walking the exact ground and seeing with my own eyes where history was made.

On January 20, 1997, as our nation was pausing to celebrate and remember the birth of Martin Luther King, Jr., I along with my sons, Chad and Courtney, and Paul Osborne and his son, Josh, had the privilege of walking a part of our nation’s history at the National Civil Rights Museum at the Lorraine Motel in Memphis, TN.

It was a day that two fathers and three sons would not soon forget.

Both Paul and I had told our sons of the events of the assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. on April 4, 1968 and what we knew of the civil rights movement.

After a very brief time at the museum, it was all too clear—I really knew very little of the actual civil rights movement and my sons knew less.

Together we listened to speeches of Dr. King and sat on a trolley car similar to the one on which Rosa Parks sat on December 1, 1955 in Montgomery, AL.

For all of us, there was a very emotional moment as we took our turns looking into the motel room where Dr. King was staying until that fateful moment when he stepped out onto the balcony seconds before his life was tragically taken from our nation and the world.

The point of this is not to brag about our trip on that incredible day. It is to suggest that as parents and grandparents, we must preserve the history of our nation. To do so, we should look for teachable moments when we are in a position take advantage of opportunities which afford us the opportunity to take a walk in history with our children and grandchildren.

InterGenerational Traditions

Have you ever given thought to how traditions were established? It the simplest of answers, traditions have been established because they were done the first time and someone realized it was good and wanted to do it again and continued through the years.

Several years ago, we did something that has become one of our family traditions. We had gone to Christmas Eve services and then everyone came to our house and we just did “family.” Our Christmas Eve dinner has been clam chowder, shrimp (and lobster for the daughter who claims she does not like shrimp) and snacks. We all wrap gifts, play games and enjoy being with one another. Everyone spends the night together at our home.

Then our daughter, Lauri, added a twist. Everyone was allowed to open a present. It happened to be a present of her choosing. Each one of us opened our gift which was new PJ’s. One by one we each went and changed into our new pajamas. Now, out of our “church” clothes and with a fire blazing in the fireplace, we settle in to just have “family time.”

The picture is dark and of the fireplace with stockings hung. For some odd reason, no one in our family would allow me to post a picture of all of us in our pajamas.

Now with our family spread out and each with extended families, our Christmas Eve tradition happens on the even-numbered years and the week after Christmas on the odd-numbered years.

I am not sure that our oldest granddaughters, Ellie and Hannah, can remember a Christmas without new pajamas and the whole family enjoying being with one another. Now we add Makayla and Liam to the mix and I hope they will always remember Christmas that includes the family and new pajamas.

InterGenerational churches must be built on InterGenerational families; families who do life together and create their own traditions.

If your kids and/or grandkids were asked if your family has any Christmas traditions, what would their answer be and what do you want their answers to be?

A Vision for InterGenerational or Just a Slogan

Very often I am with leaders who talk about “InterGenerational” ministry as if it is already happening in a powerful way in their church or organization.

Many times, a closer look reveals that InterGenerational ministry is being given “lip service.” The term is being woven into messages and documents as if that is all that is required. The problem is that many churches appear to believe that InterGenerational ministry can be accomplished by a slogan or including the word in a mission or vision statement.

When InterGenerational is left to a slogan or vision statement and there is no clear strategy to accomplish goals or implement actions, it does not take very long for most of the people to see “the Emperor has no clothes.”

The Holiday Season is a very important time for churches and families. It is a season where the church has an incredible opportunity to bring families closer together and not farther apart.

It is not too late for this year!!

I want to suggest that as churches and families, we look carefully at the activities of the season. I think that we can divide activities into three basic groups.

1. Family activities where we all do something together. We must be sure that we
intentionally plan these types of activities- - games, caroling, events.

2. Activities where one part of the family watches another part of the family do
something. This can be a part of the evening. Things such as children’s Christmas programs can be followed by some family time.

3. Activities where one part of the family does things separate from the rest of the
family. Small Group parties that do not include our children are a good example. Also, time for mom and dad to have a dinner alone is very important.


Like a good diet, our spiritual life must have balance. I like pizza, but not for every meal. I want to do things with my children and my grandchildren. I also want some time with friends and with only my wife.

Churches should take a close look at the diet they are presenting to the church family. There should be balance there as well.

One of the things that my home church does regularly is the shaping of Communion to be a family time. Often we are given the elements and told to hold them and gather with our family. That simply act draws our family closer together.

If we do not look at our activities at this time, InterGenerational can become just a slogan.

A Post/Response by Chad Stecker

This entry was posted by Chad Stecker after my last blog entry. Chad, Tanya and Makayla have now moved officially to Branson, MO where Chad is the Manager of Music City Centre.

Chad is also on Facebook and Twitter. One of the most important things I want my children to remember is that while I am proud of what they do, I am incredibly proud of who they are.

Chad's entry from a few days ago.

Chad Stecker just took a break from a hectic day at work to read dads blog on "Needing more than Rest". I remember reading this when he first wrote it and liking it very much so, but after the recent events of moving to Branson I was enlightened by this reading in a whole new light. My parents and mother in law went to Kansas to ...do the entire move with my wife and daughter so that I could begin working at my new job. They packed boxes and loaded them and everything we owned on a 26 ft trailer and 3 cars. They worked their tails off for about a week so that Tanya and I could make a better life for us and our family. As they all pulled into the driveway here in Branson and then proceeded to to work hard to unload and unpack. I noticed that I have never seen any of them more tired than I did right then. They didn't just need rest, but even more so, they needed restoration. My parents (including my mother in law) are in need of restoration because of what they have done for me and my family. As a parent now I see what my parents do for me and give up for me in a brand new light. I have begun to see my father God in a whole new light through the actions of my own parents. I can remember so many times in my life that my parents became weary doing whatever it took to take care of me, but this time was different. During my devotion today my Father God helped me realize that it is my job as their child, who has benefited from what they have given to me and given up for me, to be an acting part of the restoration God wants to bring them. As children we can and should take an active roll in being a part of Gods plan to give physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual restoration to our parents. Stand up and give back to those who have given so much to you already. Thank you Mom, Dad, Dory and Pops!


So... You can post a comment if you like or better yet, go to the Music City Centre in Branson, MO and tell him yourself.

Thoughts on Turning 75

I am coming to believe that 75 is the new “65.” There was a time many years ago that I thought that 65 was well into a retirement season and at 65 everything was pretty much downhill.

Now upon reaching 62, I am seeing things just a little different. It is not just my change of thinking – but perhaps seeing better the world around me. I am seeing men and women in their 70’s, 80’s and even 90’s still really making a great difference.

It is also coming to the realization that younger generations need some seasoned men and women who are willing to “stay in the race” with them.

So Lord willing, where do I want to be at 75?

Spiritually, I want to be a much stronger Man of God - - Son of the King.

As a husband, I want to God to be pleased and others amazed at the love I have for my wife when I just look at her from across the room.

As a father, I want my kids to have a stronger dad to count on to support them and walk with them as they grow and raise their families.

As a “papa”, I want to Rock & Roll and be a source of fun, wisdom and safety for my grandkids.

As a brother, I want to work to keep my family close and growing in love for one-another and to intentionally see each of them and their families more.

As a friend, I want my friends to know that they can count on me.

As a mentor/coach/encourager, I want to be actively reproducing into leaders of every age. I want to see people getting stronger and better as the person God created each of them to become.

As a ministry leader, I want to see an explosion of InterGenerational Churches that are reproducing around the world and I want to take part in striking a match and lighting the fuse.

There are several words that come to mind that are critical if I am to start becoming the man I want to be at 75: discipline, intentionality and love.

I must become more disciplined in the things that God has convicted me of in my heart. Discipline is hard work but it feels so much better that regret.

Intentionality is vital in every area of my life. Great things do not just happen.

And the greatest of these is love. Without love does any of this really matter? I want a desperate love for God; a passionate love for my family; a committed love for my friends; and joyful, exuberant and energetic love for the life and ministry that God created me for and has given me.

I will not and I refuse to creep up to 75 like it is a haunted house. I have a lot of work to do and I intend to blow past 75 like an Indy race car because I am looking at some great men of God in their 80’s and 90’s who are making me look like I am standing still.

Well - - - Game on!!!

Catch you all later---I have a lot to do today!

Dinner with Four Beautiful Ladies

Yep. It is true. I was out to dinner last night with four beautiful ladies. I would tell you that they are not just beautiful but drop-dead gorgeous.

Yesterday, Billie and I celebrated 31 years of marriage. To celebrate, we went to dinner along with our daughter and two granddaughters. Three generations celebrating life. We missed having our son, daughter (in-law) and granddaughter who live in Kansas. As well as our son and his lady from DC.

So there I sat at dinner with these four incredible ladies. At dinner we talked about our previous anniversaries and how much our lives have been blessed by our family. Things we want our grandchildren to tell their children.

I am so very blessed.