Why I am Passionate about Ministry to Men

The Following blog rated as one of the most read last year. the events since that time only serve to reinforce what I wrote nearly one year ago. I want to also encourage men to invest in themselves by attending trainings for men. These include, but are not limited to, denominational events, Iron Sharpens Iron Conferences, Man in the Mirror Annual Summit, Dangerous Man Conferences, Men of Valor Conferences and so many others.

FROM MARCH 2010
Last weekend I had the privilege of speaking to nearly 700 men as a part of the speaking team at the Iron Sharpens Iron conference in Rockford, IL. Roy Abbott and his team at Focal Point Ministries did a tremendous job of sponsoring/hosting this event.

For me to speak at this event, I spent a few hours on the road to and from the airport in Denver. I spent time in the airport waiting for flights or to get my bags. I spent nearly a total of three hours on a bus between Chicago and Rockford. It was not just me, by the way--many of the speakers/workshop leaders did the same thing. Here is the point. Lots of hours invested in this by many many men so that we could come together and build ourselves as well as other men. My close friends and brothers, Ray Morgan, Ken Larson, Dan Erickson and Sam Mehaffie had similar travel schedules to be there and invest in men.

So Why???

Here is a glimpse of my last four days from just one small perspective.

1. FRIDAY AFTERNOON: The young lady at the Information Desk was divorced because her husband had left her for another woman. As a note, he was divorcing that person now and had called her to see if this young lady would take him back. The young lady said that men these days are just weak and looking for a "Sugar Mama" to take care of them.

2. FRIDAY NIGHT: Our server was a great young lady. She was raising two children, ages 2 and 5 on her own. We prayed with her.

3. SUNDAY AFTERNOON: Our server when asked if we could pray for her, asked for prayer for her "ex" boyfriend. She said that he just needed help being a man and finding himself.

4. MONDAY LUNCH: My wife and I had lunch together and asked our server if we could pray for her. Without any hesitation she said yes and when asked if there is anything specific, she asked if we would pray for her family. She shared that her father had left her family about four years ago and they were still struggling, especially her two little brothers.

Here is my take on this-- we need stronger men. Ladies of all ages deserve much better than they are getting. Is this an indictment on all men in the land. Absolutely not!! I am meeting with guys across the land who are working hard to be the men God created us to be.

I am suggesting that there is still a great deal of work to be done.

So why do I do what I do and why does my bride of nearly 32 years support me beyond anything that would seem reasonable to others?? We have three of the most amazing Granddaughters (and who knows how many more in the future). They are being raised to be strong Godly ladies. I am working to see if we cannot help to raise some strong Godly men who will raise their sons or grandsons to be the kind of Godly men my granddaughters deserve.

Our families, churches, communities and our nation all need and deserve strong Godly Men.

That is why I am passionate about ministry to men and why I am heading to Springfield, IL this weekend.

Integrity in Prayer

A few days ago, I posted the following on my Facebook/Twitter update:

“ ‘Rep. Gabrielle Giffords' condition has been upgraded from critical to serious, the University of Arizona Medical Center said Sunday.’ Does not matter your politics, people who actually pray, should be praying for Rep Giffords.”

Someone asked what I meant by the statement regarding “people who actually pray”? The answer for me was very simple. I do not think nearly as many people who say they will pray or who say that they are responding to prayer needs, actually pray.

Frankly, I feel that there is far too much on the social networks that begin with “Dear God” that is not intended to be a prayer or even honoring to God. Instead, it is closer to just slapping God in the face and in many cases might be much closer to blasphemy than prayer. When the post begins with “Dear God,” consider if the next words could be, “Hallowed be Thy Name.”

I think that for many people it has become one of those “in vogue” things to post updates that indicate that they are praying when in fact they are not.

It is my belief that this is having the effect of creating cultural Christians who talk about prayer but do not actually stop and pray. As a result are teaching our children and younger Christians that we can just talk about prayer but not really engage in the process.

I am wondering how many children hear their parents tell someone that they will pray but never see or hear their parents pray? My guess is far too many!!

One of the most powerful acts of faith that we have is prayer.

It can be very powerful for our children and grandchildren to be a part of the prayer we promised. It teaches them to pray and it also shows integrity in our word.

Here is my bottom line for parents: when you tell someone in the presence of your children that you will pray, include your children when you pray.

A Walk in History

For me, personally, there is no historical educational experience that is more powerful than walking the exact ground and seeing with my own eyes where history was made.

On January 20, 1997, as our nation was pausing to celebrate and remember the birth of Martin Luther King, Jr., I along with my sons, Chad and Courtney, and Paul Osborne and his son, Josh, had the privilege of walking a part of our nation’s history at the National Civil Rights Museum at the Lorraine Motel in Memphis, TN.

It was a day that two fathers and three sons would not soon forget.

Both Paul and I had told our sons of the events of the assassination of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. on April 4, 1968 and what we knew of the civil rights movement.

After a very brief time at the museum, it was all too clear—I really knew very little of the actual civil rights movement and my sons knew less.

Together we listened to speeches of Dr. King and sat on a trolley car similar to the one on which Rosa Parks sat on December 1, 1955 in Montgomery, AL.

For all of us, there was a very emotional moment as we took our turns looking into the motel room where Dr. King was staying until that fateful moment when he stepped out onto the balcony seconds before his life was tragically taken from our nation and the world.

The point of this is not to brag about our trip on that incredible day. It is to suggest that as parents and grandparents, we must preserve the history of our nation. To do so, we should look for teachable moments when we are in a position take advantage of opportunities which afford us the opportunity to take a walk in history with our children and grandchildren.

Everyone Has Something to Offer Repost from Jan 2010

This is a repost of my blog from January, 2010. It was rated one of the favorites of last year. On my wall in front of my work area, I have an old picture of me and my friend/mentor, Dr. Gary Sallquist. Each time I look at the picture of us, I am reminded of a great leadership principle that Gary champions.


Nearly 40 years ago my good friend and mentor, Dr Gary Sallquist, gave me a book. It was one of several he gave me and encouraged me to read. Gary may not remember giving me the book or that I still have it held together by a rubber band.

The book titled, Excellence, by John W. Gardner was first published in 1961; and my paperback version was printed in 1971. By the way, the price on the book is $.95.

One of my favorite stories of understanding leadership and identifying leaders comes from the tattered pages of this old book.

“There are many varieties of excellence. This is one of those absurdly obvious truths of which we must continually remind ourselves. The Duke of Wellington, in a famous incident, revealed an enviable understanding of it. The government was considering a dispatch of an expedition to Burma to take Rangoon. The Cabinet summoned Wellington and asked him who would be the ablest general to head such an undertaking. He said, “Send Lord Combermere.” The government official protested: “but we have always understood that your Grace thought Lord Combermere a fool.” The Duke’s response was vigorous and to the point. “So he is a fool, and a damned fool, but he can take Rangoon.”

All too often, many of us miss talent and gifting in people because we cannot get by their appearance or personality to see what they have to offer. This is certainly true when it comes to trying to achieve an intergenerational community, whether at church or the workplace.

It is not limited to older looking at younger. It also prevents younger from seeing the value of a more seasoned age-group. In addition, this disease can keep those in the middle from wanting to be around older or younger.

Many churches and organizations are failing to connect with incredible young men and women, as well as phenomenal older men and women who have so much to offer “The Body” because we think we have to like someone for them to be a contributor. The “talent drain” in most churches is one of the most destructive inhibitors to growth.

Gardner makes the following statement in his chapter, The Great Talent Hunt”:

“…all who care about excellence in a society must be vigilant concerning the waste of talent. Teachers, curators, deans, critics, art dealers, editors, foundation officers, publishers—in short, all who are in a position to encourage talent—should continuously ask themselves whether the society is providing sufficient opportunities for its varied resources of talent. If important kinds of talent are withering on the vine, they had better know why.”

We could easily exchange the “church” for the word “society” in Gardner’s statement.

Are our churches missing a wealth of talent in all age groups because we cannot get past personality and appearance to see that everyone has something to offer?

I believe that one of the characteristics of great intergenerational churches will be that everyone gets to serve and be served. We all bring something to the table that is valuable and needed.


Leaders need to know who can “take Rangoon” regardless of their personality or appearance.

Paraphrasing the previous words of John Gardner, “If important kinds of talent and leadership in all age groups are withering on the vine in our churches or just leaving because they do not feel they have a place to grow, leaders had better know why and be willing to change.”


Gardner, John W., Excellence, Perennial Library, Harper & Row, Publishers, 1971, p. 151, 52

InterGenerational Worship

As I study the issues of the generations, I feel that very often we have a tendency to put an “either/or” where God probably puts an “and.”

Over the years I have sadly listened to older Christians speak that there are just not enough of the old hymns sang at their church. I have listened to younger church crowds talk about how they need their own worship and do music their way

When did the music of any generation become just theirs and all about only them?

Several years ago, I had a conversation with a music teacher at a Christian college. She was saddened by the fact she could not get her students interested in the old beautiful hymns. I asked her if she had ever told the stories of the songs before she taught the music. She had not.

She also told me that she had a tough time with the songs of today – specifically, the singing of the same chorus many—too many—times for her liking. I asked her about several songs and if she knew the stories behind the writing of the song. She did not.

I challenged her to teach the stories and then teach the music.

This is also true at any church around the world. We can transcend the age separations by learning the stories behind each of the songs from the different generations.

Here is a two-part challenge—Teach the story of Horatio Spafford and why he wrote, It is Well With My Soul, in 1873. Then teach the story of Matt Redman and why he wrote, The Heart of Worship, in 1997.

There are so many stories to be told and songs to be sang. Yes, the music is important. I think that it is clearly accepted that God loves music and worship. I think that God loves us to worship together -- lifting up our voices as OneGeneration, One Family.

It is not either this style of music or that one. Perhaps for the family, it is this style of music and that one.